A Changed Life Page 17

  An orderly, along with two uniformed police officers were coming down the hallway escorting Michael. My father seethed with anger, and lunged toward Michael. Detective Westphall caught him and pulled him back. My father began screaming obscenities at Michael. Facing his daughter’s rapist was too much to take for my father. Controlled by my fear, my heart began to race as Michael came closer.

  “Nicolette, I love you.” I was horrified hearing Michael speak the same words that Simon says to me every day. After all he had put me through; Michael still believes he has done nothing wrong. I was relieved when the elevators opened, and my mom taking over for the orderly, rushing me inside. Michael never taking his eyes off of me as the doors closed.

  “Mason what were you thinking? Going after Michael, in front of half the hospital, and the police to witness.” Mom had asked my father. My father knelt down to me and placed his head onto my lap. My father was crying, and it was breaking my heart. I soothed him the best I could as I let him release his pain. My dad had calmed down on the drive home, but only silence filled our car.

  I walked into my home for the first time since I left that Friday morning. Gracie ran toward me pulling me into one of her incredible hugs, and I cried instantly when I saw her. My mom didn’t even close the front door, when I saw him standing there.

  “Uncle Jack!” I screamed. I removed myself from Gracie’s hold, and ran right into my uncle’s waiting arms. I was so happy to see him, and for the first time since my attack, I felt normal and at ease. He held me with his strong arms. He was exactly what I needed. He put me down after a few minutes, and cupped my face into his large hands. He had tears in his eyes, “Are you okay, baby girl?”

  “No, I’m not, but I will be. Please say you are staying with me?”

  “Oh my sweet girl, I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I will stay for as long as you need me.” I cried on his shoulders as he held me, and I whispered, “Forever Uncle Jack.”

  My parents broke up our reunion to greet Jack, and I excused myself to go upstairs to my room. I was already exhausted and craved sleep in my comfortable bed. My mom said she would check on me soon, and would be talking with Uncle Jack while I settled in.

  “Jack, where did you go when you left us at the hospital?” Mom asked him.

  “Christina, it’s of no importance to you, and I don’t want you to worry about it. That goes for you too, Mason.”

  “I do need to worry about it Jack. Did you see Michael St. Clair?”

  “Yes I did. He’s still alive, if that’s your next question.”

  “We know Jack. We saw him as we were leaving, and he tried to talk to Nicolette.” After hearing that, Jack cursed under his breath. Jack sat down rubbing his face, and not knowing what to say next to my parents.

  “I’m sick over this. I can’t believe this happened to Nickel.”

  “We are too, Jack. Believe us, we are too. Michael has been taken into custody, and our lawyer is already down at the station. The prosecutors on Nicolette’s case will try to argue no bail for him. His family has money and influence, so he could be a flight risk. No doubt his father is probably working on taking him out of the country.”

  “I will never let that happen, Christina. I can have people in place, and ready to go if that should even occur.”

  “We won’t either, Jack. You can call off the dogs, and let the professionals handle this.

  “Do you remember our conversation at all, Jack?”

  I do, Mason, and I heard every word of it.”

  “What exactly does that mean?”

  “I need to call Sara, and explain what is happening. I’m asking her to join me here. I want to close the restaurant down until this animal is put away, and Nickel is safe.”

  “Jack, he was arrested today, and it could take months for a trial. We don’t even know what’s going to happen.” My father explained.

  “If you want me to leave, and not share your home, that’s fine brother. I will make arrangements, and remain close for Nicolette. Hear me Massimo… do not ask me to go home, because I will not leave her again.”

  “Do not call me that, Jack. I do not go by that name anymore. Please call me Mason for god sake.”

  “Why Massimo, because you are ashamed of it?”

  “Those are your words Jack, not mine. We lead different lives, and I am asking you to please respect that, especially around my daughter.”

  “Don’t you mean our daughter? Jack sighs. I have always respected you brother, and it was you that disrespected me and my wishes. Had you left Nicolette with me and Sara, this wouldn’t have happened to our precious girl.” I could hear Uncle Jack’s anger in the tone he was using with my father. They didn’t know I was coming downstairs to join them, and I stopped when I heard them arguing. I shouldn’t have been listening, but they were being very loud, and now I was curious to why they were fighting.

  “Our only concern is our daughter Jack. I will not continue to argue with you over this, and Nicolette is my daughter, and I know what’s best for her.”

  “What’s that Massimo? You and Christina keeping the truth from her? Asked Uncle Jack. Now I was frozen to my listening spot, because I couldn’t believe what I heard next. She’s my daughter Massimo, just as much as she is yours. You took her from me to move out here, separating her from her whole life. You forced her to leave us, her family. She left friends that she has grown up with, and for what? For you and Christina to be famous Hollywood song writers? You had an extraordinary life in Chicago. You had already achieved your success, but you just got greedy and wanted to play with the big boys. Well look around brother, this is what you’ve got! A broken home, and a broken child, who you neglected and didn’t protect!”

  “That’s enough Jack!” Mom found her voice and stood between the two men. “How could you be so cruel Jack? We love Nicolette. She is our whole world, and we would die for her. I can’t believe you feel this way about us?” Uncle Jack looked at my mother’s face, and his expression changed.

  “Please don’t cry Cristina. I’m sorry for hurting you. Forgive me, please?” Cried Uncle Jack.

  “Jack, we are all suffering with Nicolette, but you are attacking us. This will not help our family heal from this. Please try not to argue with your brother, especially when we need to keep a united front for Nicolette.”

  What did Uncle Jack mean by me being his daughter too? My head began to spin with all I heard, and I returned to my room unseen. I shoved at my door, and not wanting to slam it, but I did it anyway.

  All three of them came bursting in my room, asking me if I was ok. Their faces showed fear as they approached me. I told them I was ok, and my mother looked at me like she knew I was hiding something, but didn’t press the issue. I needed to be alone, and I asked them to leave me to rest. I had so much in my head, and I couldn’t separate what I already knew, and didn’t know. My head was throbbing with a headache. My mind felt like it was going into overdrive. I tried to shut everything out, and take a bath to relax. By the time I got out of the tub, my headache subsided a bit, and I dressed in my new comfy yoga outfit. Mom had left a tray of food for me, but I wasn’t hungry. I checked my phone, and I saw my Inbox was full, no doubt from Simon and my friends.

  Sure enough most of the messages were from Simon. I listened to all of them like music on a repeat button. Simon was desperate to see me, and deep down I wanted to see him. I was afraid that I would push him away, and hurt him. Simon tried to hide his obvious pain from me. I saw it every time I looked into his eyes. He was back to a place that he didn’t want to re-visit again. All that he went through with Jennifer, and now me. I felt so guilty for hurting him.

  I worked up enough courage to call Simon. He greeted me with his usual, “Hey beautiful.” I wasn’t sure if I would ever feel that way again. I tried my hardest not to cringe at the words that always warmed my heart. Without going into too much detail, I had told Simon about the heated argument I had listened in on. Simon said to trust my heart, and when I w
as ready, to simply ask my parents about it.

  Simon had just spent some time with our friends. He said they were all desperate to see me. Afraid they would hear it on the news, Simon took it upon himself to tell them about my rape. He was afraid I would be upset with him, but I wasn’t. All I can possibly feel right now is numbness.

  Simon’s father, Ted, made some calls and found out that Michael was getting arraigned tomorrow morning at nine am. I’m sure my parents already know this, and just knowing he could be out on bail tomorrow was terrifying. I have never wanted to run as much as I do right now. After tomorrow everyone will know what happened to me.

  My call was interrupted by my dad, asking to come in and talk. I told him yes, and said goodbye to Simon. As always, he told me he loved me, and would see me tomorrow. Before I could reply, he hung up.

  For the first time, my dad looked old to me. He looks as if he has aged ten years. He asked me if he could hug me, which I just thought was unusually odd. Of course I said yes. He didn’t know how I would react to anyone’s touch after being raped by Michael. I hugged my father, and gripped his shoulders crying into him. I knew he was struggling, and now he wanted to say something to me. I could feel it on him, so I did what he could not. I looked right into his eyes, and asked him point blank.

  “Is Uncle Jack my father?”

  Dad replied weakly, “Yes, he is Nicolette.”

  “How did you know?”

  Somehow, I always suspected that he could be my dad, and my reasons behind my suspicions shocked my father. I looked just like my Uncle Jack. I do have similar traits of Mason Vanelle, but carry a stronger resemblance to Jack. I had thought he and my mom may have had an affair, and I was the secret love child. I agree it was over the top in my thinking, but again that’s what I assumed. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

  “Nicolette, if you are ready to hear the truth about your parentage, then I want to be the one to tell you the story.” I saw the pain behind my father’s eyes, and a part of me didn’t want to cause him anymore than he was already dealing with. The truth is, I needed to know, and the people whom I had trusted and loved all of my life had kept this from me. Today, I will know the truth, and I didn’t care how much it would hurt me to hear it.

  I sat on my bed with my back to my headboard as my father pulled up a chair and sat with me. “We wanted a baby so badly, and we had been trying to conceive for a while. Your mother and I went through many tests, after trying for a year to get pregnant. Mom’s test results were normal, and there was no reason why she couldn’t conceive a child. When my results were read to us, I had thought our dream of becoming parents were simply over. I was told I was sterile, and unable to ever have a child with your mother. Nicolette, this news shattered your mother’s hopes of becoming a mom. She didn’t want to adopt, and all she could see above anything else was carrying a child inside of her.”

  “Daddy, how does Uncle Jack fit in to all of this?”

  “Jack offered to be our sperm donor. Aunt Sara had undergone a hysterectomy when she was twenty four years old because she had a rare cancer that destroyed any chance of her ever having a child of her own. Uncle Jack and Aunt Sara made peace with the fact that she was alive and in remission. Still after all these years, she remains cancer free, and you’ve seen how happy they are.”

  “Why didn’t Uncle Jack and Aunt Sara ever adopt?”

  “After they went through their horrifying ordeal and when she entered into remission, again they were just happy to have Sara alive. They traveled and spent all their time together. Sara’s dreams of opening a restaurant came true, and it developed into now what we call, the ‘Neighborhood.’ Aunt Sara also feared if her cancer were to return, and they did have a child, the thought of leaving him or her motherless was inconceivable for Sara.”

  “We made Uncle Jack aware of what was happening with us, and after discussing it with Sara, he offered his help. Mom was over the moon with his generous and unselfish act of kindness. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I was having a hard time with it.

  You see, Nicolette, Jack and I weren’t always close growing up, and I always felt Jack was the favorite son in the Vanelle family. When Jack was older, he exhibited the same qualities my father had, and grandpa was extremely proud of his first born son. I always tried to prove that I was just as smart, and wanted to make my parents proud of me.

  My father’s lack of support drove me to work twice as hard to achieve my success. Nicolette, I found all of that in my song writing. When I met your mother, I knew my heart had been secured forever. I didn’t need to win over my father’s affections anymore. I had Christina, and that was enough. Jack always supported my dreams, but I just wished I could have been a better brother. He gave me the greatest gift, and I will never be able to repay him. Jack gave me you, and for that, I am so grateful.”

  Dad continued with his story, and how Uncle Jack made him promise that he would always play a role in raising me, and having a say in my life. It was never an issue until my parents made the decision to leave Chicago and move to California. Dad confessed after the decision was made to move, something broke in Uncle Jack. He hid his feelings remarkably well, but he was deeply hurt by my parents. I remember begging my parents to let me stay. They never wavered on their decision, and insisted I would have to go with them to California.

  Uncle Jack agreed I would eventually know how I came into the world when I was old enough to understand. I always believed that the adults in my life, whom I loved more than anything, would never hurt me. The truth is, I wasn’t hurt by this revelation, and maybe I should be, but it simply wasn’t true.

  I have two amazing parents. My mom can drive me crazy most of the time, but I never doubted their love for me. Uncle Jack was a constant presence in my life, along with Aunt Sara. They all shared the important moments in my life. From watching me take my first steps, to dancing in my first recital, or falling off the balance beam at my gymnastics meet. They were always by my side. This couldn’t have been easy for my dad to explain it all, but he did it. How can I be angry with him? I love my father very much, and he just proved once again, how much he loves me.

  Now at the lowest time of my life, Uncle Jack is here by my side again. I couldn’t shut him or my parents out even if I wanted to. These three are a force to be reckoned with. I did have questions for my father, as he knew I would.

  “Daddy, why is Uncle Jack so angry with you?”

  “He blames me for what happened to you, Nicolette. If I had let you remain in Chicago, then this horrible act of violence you suffered would not have happened. As your father, it was my job to protect you. Jack is right, I have failed you.”

  “Daddy, don’t you ever say that to me again! None of us knew what Michael was capable of. What happened to me could have happened in Chicago. I have made so many mistakes with Michael. I should have been honest with you, and tell you and mom everything he was doing to me. This is on me daddy, not you, nor mom, or even Simon.”

  My father pulled me into him, and cried how sorry he was for not being there in time to save me from Michael. He blames himself for what happened. I said all I could say to help him through this. He would have to search his own soul for the absolution he needs. I would also have to do the same.

  Wiping away my tears. “Daddy, you need to leave now. I’m sorry but I just can’t talk anymore tonight.” The look on my father’s face showed me that I had broken him even more, but I was exhausted and drained. Dad understood and ducked out of my room with his head down.

  My head was spinning after talking with daddy. I took a valium Dr. Jonas prescribed to me. I needed to shut down my mind, and within minutes that's exactly what happened. I was out.

  Waking up to the reality that I just spent my first night in jail was all too surreal for me. The smells in here were overwhelming. My ribs were throbbing, and having to sleep on this uncomfortable cot was too much to endure. My head hurt from the sounds coming from other cells throughout the holding area.
I needed to get out of here. I was waiting on my lawyer and father to arrive. I needed a hot shower, and a decent meal. I wasn’t going to spend one more night in this hell hole.

  As much as I wanted to get out of here, my mind drifted to Nicolette. I needed to see her, and make sure she was alright. I never told anyone about my mysterious visitor who nearly choked me to death. I didn’t know who he was, and he didn’t give me a chance to find out.

  A guard approached to open my cell, and bring me to a holding area to wait for my arraignment. I joined my lawyer John, who was waiting for me. We went over what was to happen today, and we were discussing what I was going to say when asked by the judge what my plea was to be.

  I already knew how I was going to plea, not guilty of course. John advised me on the long list of evidence the police collected, and plan on presenting it today in court. I silently kept telling myself that what happened with Nicolette, and I was consensual. She got scared and freaked out, leading into our physical fight. I should have been more sensitive to her needs. I may have pushed too far, but I did not rape her.

  John’s phone buzzed breaking me out of my deep thought. “Michael, your father has arrived. I’m going to go meet him and I will be back in a few minutes.”

  I muttered under my breath, “whatever” as he left me on my own. Noticing he left his cell phone on the table. I glanced around and saw no one. I took this opportunity of sheer luck to call Nicolette, praying she would answer her phone.

  Opening my eyes to the morning sun shining through my room. It looked like a beautiful day for December in California. The holidays were upon us, and this should be a happy time, but today would not be. It was Michael’s arraignment day. I stayed in my bed until nature was calling, and I padded my way to my bathroom. I washed my face and ran a comb through my tangled mess of hair. My sleep was restless, even though I had assistance from a pharmaceutical. My phone was ringing, and I didn’t know where it was until I found it under my pillows. Not recognizing the number, but answering the call anyway. I stood frozen after hearing his voice.