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  RUN

  An M/M Romance Novel

  Copyright © 2018 by Mary A. Wasowski

  Cover Design by RE Creatives

  Editing by Joe Marron

  Formatting by JT Formatting

  All rights reserved.

  Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products, bands, and/or restaurants referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Epigraph

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  A Note from the Author

  Acknowledgments

  Other Books by Mary A. Wasowski

  About the Author

  “Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.”

  – Paulo Coelho

  “Daddy, will you tell me the story again on how you and mommy fell in love?”

  I smiled at our son’s question. Man, he was completely innocent and untouched by the dark parts of our past. I could never resist retelling him our story because it’s his too. I never wanted him to forget his mother, even though their time together was very short.

  “Daddy! Tell me the story,” Paxton demanded.

  “Okay, okay, cool your jets, little man.”

  “I’m not that little! I did get a basket off you today when we played basketball.”

  “Okay, no one likes a bragger. I’ll get you next time,” I laughed.

  “Please, Daddy, I won’t be able to sleep unless you tell me the story.”

  “You know that doesn’t work on me like it used to, but since we are closing in on your big double-digit birthday, I guess there’s always the exception. Now, Pax, it’s a pretty big story and it’s late, so I am going to give you the CliffsNotes version, okay?”

  “Daddy?” he asked, puzzled.

  I deeply sighed, knowing how one question always led to more.

  “Yes?” I asked.

  “Why is it called CliffsNotes? Do you know a Cliff?”

  I smiled, knowing how my son’s mind worked. “No, I don’t know any Cliffs, but the person you’re asking about is real. His name was Clifton and, along with his wife, he developed study guides that later became CliffsNotes, used on many products.”

  And he’s asleep. I’ll save the retelling of how I met his mom for another time. Although it pains my heart to tell it, he loves hearing it.

  I kissed him on his forehead and shut off his bedside light. I lingered a bit in the doorway before closing his door.

  God! I love him so much. He’s brought so much to my life. He’s my best friend.

  After Paxton went to sleep, I finished up my work. I didn’t like to work when he was home with me. It was a promise I made to Carrie from the very beginning when she was pregnant with him. She always felt that her parents never valued the important moments of her life, and she vowed things would be different with her own kids. Her relationship with her family was cold and distant at times. They were a family that kept up with appearances, but behind closed doors, it was an unhealthy environment for any child to grow up in. I was a lucky man to have spent the years I did with her, but there was not a day that went by that I didn’t miss and want her back with me. Fate handed us one hell of a bad hand on the night of Paxton’s birth.

  “Come on, baby. One more push and our son is going to be here,” I called to her.

  “Devan, something’s wrong. I feel it.”

  “I’m right here, babe. I’m not going to leave your side.”

  “I love you, Devan, so much. Thank you for being my best friend and father to our son. He’s going to love you so much.”

  “He’s going to love you too. Stop talking as if you’re not going to be here.”

  She smiled. I placed a kiss on her lips. The doctor checked the position of the baby one more time, and he shouted off the commands as I braced behind her for the final pushes. She was so tired. I kept encouraging her. She had been at it for over sixteen hours now, but the doctor was confident that she could deliver him without surgery. Then, with all the strength she had left in her, she bared down, and our son was born. He came out screaming, with his mother’s sweet nose and a full head of dark hair that matched mine.

  Our son was placed in my arms, and I was already so in love with him. I knew I would be. I turned to place him in his mother’s arms, and Carrie just smiled back at me. The labor and delivery nurse snapped a few photos of us, and then Carrie kissed him before they had to clean him and do the usual checks.

  I held her hand in mine and placed soft kisses down on her delicate hand. “You did so good, baby. You’re my hero.”

  “He looks just like you, Devan, with all that beautiful olive skin. He’s gorgeous.”

  “Okay, let’s not get crazy. He’s only minutes old. I don’t think he’s ready for cover modeling yet.”

  “Remember our deal, Devan. He’s our boy. No one gets near him, okay?”

  “Baby, what are you so afraid of? He’s our boy, and he’s safe. I promise.”

  “I’m a mother now. I have to protect our son. Just always keep your promise, okay?” Her happy tears turned to sad ones as they fell down her beautiful face. I kissed the top of her head and just held her in my arms.

  “Carrie, I promise. Your parents are three thousand miles away, and you haven’t spoken to them in years.”

  “I don’t care if I never speak with them again. They threw me out when I told them I was gay. They treated me horribly even before that, especially my father if you want to call him that. He’s a monster.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Never mind. Fuck them and their deluded, backward way of thinking.”

  “Okay, calm down. You just experienced the best moment of your life. Let’s not taint it by talking about your narrow-minded parents. They are who they are, and we are who we are.
Let’s remember that.”

  I kissed her head, and that was when we heard a loud pop come from down below her waist.

  “Carrie?” I said, but her eyes began to close and her hand went limp in mine. “Someone please help her!” I shouted.

  “Sir, you need to leave. We need to examine her.” The nurses practically shoved me out of the room.

  “I’m not leaving her or my son!” I shouted and rushed over to our baby boy, who was already asleep in his bassinet.

  After securing our wristbands and finishing all the necessary tests on him, he was taken to the newborn nursery. I rushed back over to Carrie, who was now unconscious.

  “What’s wrong with her? Help her dammit!” I yelled.

  “We are sir, we are,” the nurses told me.

  She was wheeled out of her room and taken immediately into surgery. It was hours before I would know anything. Her doctor finally emerged and looked like the angel of death. I was feeding our son when she told me that Carrie didn’t make it. She had thrown a blood clot that went to her heart, causing her to arrest. She bled out on the OR table after the doctor’s unsuccessful attempts to stop the bleeding.

  I handed over our son to the nurse and then nearly collapsed on the floor. How was Carrie dead? How am I going to do this without her?

  The following weeks went by in a blinding blur. I had a revolving rotation of casserole dishes delivered to my door, as if I could even finish one by myself, although my parents couldn’t help themselves. They felt that anything could be cured through a good meal, but tell that to my heart. My best friend was dead, and I was now a single father raising our child.

  I wasn’t really alone. I had my parents, and friends who were always there for me and for Carrie too when she was alive. After Carrie died, I had no choice but to call her parents. I knew how she felt about them, but she was still their daughter, and my mom felt they had a right to know. I wasn’t asking anything of them. I covered the funeral expenses, and all I intended to do was deliver the news of their daughter’s passing.

  Ruth and Tobias Harper were never big fans of mine, especially knowing that I was their daughter’s gay best friend. They practically accused me of converting their daughter to the dark side. Carrie and I would always laugh because we were just too positive to ever allow their way of thinking define us. It was her idea to start wearing Darth Vader t-shirts with the dark side slogans on the back of them. My mom always told me to be respectful even though they weren’t, but Carrie had had enough and basically told them to fuck off after they refused to accept her for the person she was.

  Carrie had fallen in love with Paisley, a girl from Boise, Idaho. Paisley was only living in New York for six months or so when she transferred to our high school. Carrie was instantly in love, and her affection was returned. I liked her immediately, and we became the perfect tripod. We were pretty much inseparable and loved our bubble. Once Carrie’s parents found out about her “secret” relationship with Paisley, they flipped out and forbade their daughter to ever see either one of us again.

  That didn’t go over all that well with Carrie. They demanded; she argued back. On most nights, she took refuge in my bedroom, then Paisley would come over, and I would be the lookout for their secret trysts. Yeah, I was a sucker for romance.

  Despite all the indifference she faced with her family, we made it to graduation, and then her parents asked her one more time to break up with Paisley. Carrie refused, and by doing so, her family cut her off and placed her bags outside on the porch of their home.

  My stubborn girl told them that she was sorry they felt that way and that she would pray for them. Her father nearly smacked her face for that comment, but she held her ground and left without ever looking back. Being a conservative minister, her father would have no part in accepting a daughter that was gay. He told her she would burn in hell for not only going against God but his wishes as well. With her parting words, Carrie said she would take her chances because anything was better than living under his roof. Her parents did not back down, and it was a complete disownment on their part. Carrie moved in with me, with my parents welcoming her in with open arms. We lived next door to the Harpers, and though they knew their daughter hadn’t gone too far, Ruth and Tobias still refused to have anything to do with my family or their daughter.

  Not even a month later, there was a realtor sign on their front lawn, and once the house was sold, her parents left without another word. I held onto Carrie as we watched the moving van pull away from the house she was raised in, but she never felt it was a home. She didn’t feel loved or even wanted by them.

  We remained back in New York and began college. I went to NYU, but Carrie had to settle for community college while working three jobs. She vowed to never be held back, no matter her circumstances.

  We made it, the three of us. Four years had flown by, and we found ourselves living happily together in Atlanta after graduating from college. Yeah, I was the third wheel, but they never saw it like that. We wanted to remain together, and I knew eventually I would find my own place and hoped to find a special mister that I could share my life with, but for now, I was good watching my best girl in life be happy.

  It was awesome while it lasted. One year to the day we moved to Georgia, Paisley was involved in a car accident, struck head-on by a car full of drunken teenagers. She made it to the hospital but died three days later. Her family took her off life-support, and then all the plans my girl had for her future died along with Paisley.

  I got her through it, and life went on even though Carrie hated to move forward without her. I was doing quite well working as a software developer, having sold several programs to companies like IBM and Hewlett Packard. Carrie was teaching, and even though she didn’t make the greatest salary, she was happy working with children. She was always the one taking me by surprise, but nothing would prepare me for the question she asked me casually over drinks one night.

  I was licking my wounds over yet another dead-end relationship that I knew wasn’t going anywhere. She knew it too but would never say. I just finished Skyping with my folks, and they were awesome. They left the city soon after I did and followed us to Atlanta. Dad sold our family’s hardware store that was just too small for New York, but he invested properly and was now living happily retired. Atlanta was a temporary stopover for them, and once they found the perfect house, they settled in a smaller town with a backyard of their own and plenty of room for their gardens. My parents were in Heaven, and I was lucky to have them nearby.

  I think Carrie needed them more, with her own family disowning her. We knew the Harpers moved to Oregon, but that’s all we knew. She had an aunt that kept in touch and told us where they were. They missed so many milestones in their daughter’s life and still stayed away because they could never accept her. What a waste!

  “Devan, can I tell you something?” Carrie asked.

  “You know you can. What’s up?”

  “I’m sorry about Tim.”

  “Really?”

  “No, not really, but I hate to see you sad.”

  I laughed and finished my drink. “Thanks for being honest, but you’re right. He was a jerk.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Sure, you didn’t. It just wasn’t when I was around.”

  “You’ll find someone who is deserving of your heart. I know it,” she said.

  “Yeah, whatever. I have my work and you. What more do I need?”

  “How about a baby?”

  I almost fell off my chair. “What?”

  “Did you not hear me?”

  “Yeah, I heard you. I just can’t believe it. Why would you say such a thing?”

  “Because I want one. It’s time.”

  “Carrie, I get the whole women’s movement, hear me roar, but really? You want a baby, and now just when you are finally on solid ground, you want to rock it by getting knocked up at the sperm bank?”

  “Gee, thanks for the support, but I wasn’t thinking
about getting anything from the sperm bank nor some random guy.”

  “Happy to hear that since you are only attracted to women.”

  “Devan, you know that’s not true. I’ve messed around with a couple of guys in the past.”

  “Okay, fine. What did you call that time again? I remember: you said it was the team try-outs, and pussy won out in the end.”

  “How many drinks have you had tonight? Because you’re being an asshole. I may have been unsure back in my teens, but the minute I met Paisley Paxton, I was no longer confused about who I was, and who I wanted to share my bed with.”

  I was being an asshole and regretted my stupid joke after I saw the hurt on her face. Carrie was my family, and I would never intentionally hurt her.

  “I’m sorry, babe. Forgive me? Breaking up with Tim has messed my brain up tonight. You’re right. He was no good for me, and I shouldn’t be taking my bad mood out on you.”

  “It’s fine. I know you liked him.”

  “Not as much as I love you,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

  “Forget it. Can we please get back to what we were talking about?”

  “Remind me again, because I thought you said you wanted to have a baby.”

  “I do, but not from a donor.”

  “No? Then how are you going to get pregnant? I hear the Immaculate Conception was a one-time deal.”

  “Will you stop making jokes and just listen to me?”

  “Okay, talk to me.”

  “Devan, you know that I love you.”

  “I love you too. We just established that.”

  “We’ve been best friends for a long time now. There is no one I trust more in the world than you, so reaching this decision was the easiest one I could ever make.”

  “Which was?”

  “I want you to be the father of my child. Devan, you are an amazing man, and I know you would be a great father.”

  I nearly choked on the last sip of my drink. Did I hear her right? Rewind.

  “Carrie, I’m flattered, but having a kid right now is not something I want, and I never pictured having one with you. I’m sorry, babe, but I have to be honest here.”