A Changed Life Read online

  “I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that my family can sit here, and make demands of me. Force me to fall in line, and do what you want me to do. I didn’t ask to be raped, and I sure as hell didn’t want to be pregnant at eighteen years old. I don’t want to have to go through a lengthy trial and face Michael, and have my personal life aired out in the media. I wish I could go back to that day where Simon and Daddy reached me in time, and prevented Michael from hurting me. I know that’s not real, and what is real is that I am pregnant. I am the only one that is going to decide what happens next.”

  Looking over to my mother, she looked devastated and so sad. “I’m sorry that I hurt you Mom. The days of planning out my life and making decisions for me are over. I’m an adult now, and as much as I wanted to become one, I never anticipated what I would be facing now. You all have a decision to make. You can support and love me, or you can let me go.”

  I turned away from my family, and left them all in tears. I even saw a glimpse of Gracie standing in the hallway and wiping her eyes. A couple of months ago, we were a happy family, but now everything has changed.

  My practice ran later than I wanted it to. It felt really good to run and let off some steam. My team was excited, and so ready for Saturday. This is what they have worked so hard for. My teammate Jimmy, was hoping this win on Saturday would pave the way for his scholarship. College scouts would be in attendance, and I knew I would have to run my heart out for my team. This win would not be just for me, but for them.

  My coach and I had a good talk after the rest of the guys took off. He said he was proud to call me captain. He had enough confidence in me to know I would try my best to bring home the championship win for the team, and for our school. This win would mark our first championship in over ten years. I gave my word that I would give it my all. I quickly showered, and got dressed. I saw three missed calls from Nicolette. I immediately called her, and she answered on the first ring. Nicolette explained to me all that had happened since I dropped her off, and I was clenching my fists in response. I was so angry that she had to go through all that stress. Nicolette asked me if I could pick her up, and bring her back to the beach house.

  Nicolette had packed her suitcase, and she didn’t want to be in her house anymore. I was at a loss for words, and wasn’t sure what to say. I urged her not to make any decisions based on hurt feelings right now. Her parents loved her very much, and they were hurting just as much as we all were. I had asked her to wait for me to arrive, and we would talk it out once I got there. Nicolette gave me her word she would be waiting for me. We promised each other complete honesty, and always work out our problems together. We agreed that we are stronger together than apart.

  I rang the doorbell to Nicolette’s home, and Gracie greeted me with a smile. She led me into the living room where Nicolette’s family gathered. Her dad rose from his seat to shake my hand, thanking me for taking care of Nicolette today. Uncle Jack followed suit, and then introduced me to his wife Sara. I was happy to finally meet Nicolette’s aunt. She always sang her aunt’s praises.

  “Simon, I’m sure you know what happened here tonight, after you brought Nicolette home.” Her father said. I shook my head, and answered, “Yes.” I asked if I could speak openly to all of them, and her father replied, “Yes, of course son.”

  “I just want to say that I know you all love Nicolette, and want the very best for her. Having said that, you all need to just take a step back, and give her some time. Nicolette needs to begin to heal and work through this. Now being pregnant is just adding to the mountain of stress she is already under. Fighting with her family is not going to make anything better, just the opposite and none of us want that. I love your daughter very much, she is my whole world. My future will include Nicolette. If she decides that she wants this baby, then he or she will be my son or daughter. I know how this child was conceived, and no child should ever have to be created from ugliness. But that’s not how I see Nicolette. She is beautiful inside and out, and this baby will grow from within her. It will be just as beautiful as its mother, how could it not?”

  “Simon, you can’t even imagine the responsibility you are taking on.” Christina said as she wiped her tears, that were now falling down her face.

  “Mrs. Vanelle, that’s where you’re wrong, I do understand exactly what I am signing up for. Nicolette is my life, and I will not live my life without her in it. If anything, my feelings for your daughter have grown stronger. As long as we stay together, we will be okay.”

  “What about the baby, Simon?” Asked Uncle Jack. “What if the child looks like Michael, how will you feel then? The baby will only serve as a reminder to Nicolette, and to you. I don’t see how you can raise this child as your own.”

  “We don’t expect you to understand our decisions, but we do ask you to respect them. I’m going to take care of what’s mine. Nicolette is mine, and I’m hers. We are together, and we will get through this. I mean no disrespect, but I don’t know how many more ways I can make this clear to all of you. When will you all get it? Your reaction today and pushing Nicolette, is why I took her away to clear her head. I finally convinced her to completely trust and believe in me to take care of her. My feelings are true and have not changed despite what happened. I pray that you have not destroyed what I have worked so hard for her to believe. If you excuse me now, I need to go see her.”

  “She’s up in her room, Simon.”

  “Thank you Mrs. Vanelle. I’ll take it from here.”

  I took the stairs two at a time to get to her room. I slowly opened the door, and called out her name. When she didn’t answer, I turned on the light to find her room empty. I ran to the balcony, and saw that her car was gone. “Damn it, Nicolette! Where are you?” I cursed out loud. I ran downstairs to tell her family that she was gone. Her mother gasped, and hugged her husband crying into him, “Oh Mason, what have we done to our daughter?”

  I know I promised Simon that I would wait for him, but I just couldn’t stand to be in my home after everything that had happened tonight. I had planned on calling him once I got far enough away, but then I just kept driving. I knew he would be angry and worried. I just needed some time to think. I had pulled over to a local motel and got a room for the night. I paid cash so my parents wouldn’t be able to track my credit cards. I had picked up some food, and after taking a hot shower, finally sat down to eat and welcome my first moment of peace and quiet since I went home.

  I was not going to turn my phone on. I knew my parents would be trying to find me. I had called Sam to explain to him what was happening, and to ask him to call Simon for me. He promised me he would, and not reveal to anyone where I was.

  When Sam finally got in touch with Simon, he was out of his mind with worry. Simon knew the location of the motel I had checked into, and was instructed by Sam not tell my parents where I was. He was only to tell them that I was ok. Simon did just that, and my parents threatened to phone the police if he didn’t tell them my location. After all they had put me through today, they still weren’t listening. Simon advised them if they contacted the police, they would only push me further away.

  Simon left my house to join me. An hour later, I heard knocking at my door. I looked through the peep hole to see Simon standing there. I slowly opened the door, and he rushed through, scooping me up into his arms. He wrapped my upper body around him like a coiled snake. He was crying. “My god Nicolette! You scared me.”

  “I’m so sorry Simon, but I couldn’t stay there any longer.” He put me down, and locked the door behind him. He said to me, “So your only choice was to run? You gave me your word, no more running baby. How can I trust you, Nicolette? I know your family pushed you and backed you into a corner. I understand how you probably felt betrayed and hurt. What hurts me the most is that you went back on your promise and didn’t trust me to help you. You decided to run tonight, Nicolette. What if you kept going and not called Sam? I can’t even comprehend what I would have done.”


  I didn’t think I could feel worse about today, and seeing Simon’s fear and hurt all over his beautiful face cut me to my core. “Simon, please forgive me. I know I hurt you, but you must believe I wasn’t running from you. I love you and I do trust you, this is why I called Sam to get a message to you. I wanted to wait for you, but after how my family just kept pushing me to make a decision about the baby; I had to get out of there. Please say that you understand and you forgive me? I can’t lose you, Simon.”

  “I forgive you Nicolette, you never have to worry about losing me. I love you baby.” Simon held me in his arms and let me cry. I needed to let it all out and he was the only one that would allow me to do so without judgment.

  Simon had missed dinner. Thank goodness I bought enough to share with him. After we finished eating, it was time to talk. Simon said he was staying with me tonight, and not to argue with him. This would be the first time I would share a bed with Simon. I felt completely safe with him, and I prayed that tonight I would be spared and not have any nightmares. Simon said he would drive us to school in the morning, and again not to argue with him about it. School was not exactly the place where I wanted to be. Simon reminded me if I were to ever reclaim my life back, school was exactly where I needed to be.

  We talked about his track practice, and how he couldn’t wait for Saturday. He made me promise, I would be there to cheer him on. I gave him my word that I would. Simon’s brothers and parents would also be there, and he couldn’t wait for me to meet them. Simon was very close to his three big brothers, and wanted me to get to know them. He said they are my brothers now, too.

  We didn’t discuss what happened at my house. We just talked about us, and our future plans. Simon thought I had cried enough of the sad tears tonight, and if I was going to cry anymore, they would only be good ones.

  We held each other through the night, and when I woke, Simon’s legs were entwined through mine. His body felt heavy, and I was too warm. I watched him sleep, wanting to touch his face and run my fingers through his hair. He looked beautiful in his sleep, with his mouth slightly opened and forming an O. I reached up to kiss him. Simon had been so gentle with me for the past couple of months, and my heart was just bursting with love for him.

  Simon must have felt my lips on his. He opened his eyes, and smiled at me. “What are you up to, baby?” He asked me.

  I replied, “Just admiring the view.” He pulled me to his chest, and kissed the top of my head. “I love you Nicolette.” And I softly replied, “I love you Simon.” As much as I could have stayed in bed with Simon, I had promised him I would go to school and rejoin the world again. I quickly dressed and gathered my things. Simon took a shower and kept the door opened so he could hear me if I left. I gave him my car keys to reassure him that I would not run again. Simon took my keys without hesitation. By leaving the way I did, I made Simon doubt me, and I was going to try my hardest make him believe that he could trust me.

  We drove in silence for a while until Simon squeezed my thigh bringing me out of my deep thought. “Nicolette, stop with the worrying. Today is just a normal school day. We will attend classes, and have lunch together. I’ll go to practice, and then I’ll drive you home.” I told Simon he makes it sound so easy, and he let out a laugh and said, “Because it is baby.”

  I think I was more upset about how I left things with my family. I had never done anything so reckless before in my life, and leaving the way I did must have made them frantic. Simon assured me that when I return home today they will be more understanding. As much as I needed time, they also needed time and patience to process all that’s happened.

  We arrived at school, and our friends were waiting for us to join them. Sam greeted us first, opening my door for me. He leaned in and gave me a quick hug, asking me in my ear if I was ok. I told him much better than yesterday. Sam was like a brother to Simon, with Simon’s brothers being so far away. I’m happy to know Simon has Sam as his best friend.

  Alexis and Bailey hugged me together. They were a tag team, and then Jameson joined in. He, of course, suggested blowing off school to have a fun day. Simon broke up our group hug and said, “We already had our fun day this week, time for school.” He took my hand, and we were off to Calculus. After my morning classes, I needed to check in with Guidance, per their request.

  My advisor, Stephanie Perkins, was going over my file when I knocked on her door. “Hey Nicolette, please come in.” she said in her bubbly voice. “You wanted to see me.”

  “Yes I did,” replied Stephanie. “I haven’t had the opportunity to speak with you since you returned to school, and wanted to know how you are doing?” I told her as well as could be expected under the circumstances, which I knew she was aware of. I had missed several weeks of school, and how could they not know the reason behind it?

  “Well Nicolette, you have completed all of your missed work, and you are maintaining an A average in all of your classes. That is a remarkable accomplishment.” I just quietly said thank you, and asked if there was anything else she needed from me. She replied no and I was free to go. I felt uncomfortable all of a sudden like all eyes were on me, as I walked through the halls. I knew this wasn’t the case, but my fears were getting the best of me.

  I ran into the first bathroom I saw, making sure the stalls were clear. I ducked inside one and cried. I was about to leave when I overheard some girls talking about me. I remained behind the door trying to be quiet.

  I peeped through the opening of the door, and recognized the girls who were now talking about me. They were the same cheerleaders that I had seen flirt with Simon the other day. I quietly listened to the girls talk about me. The blond began to ask her friend what she has heard about Michael St. Clair. Her friend just replied that she had heard he is in jail for rape. The blond covered her mouth in shock. “I can’t believe some skank would make up this bogus lie about him. He doesn’t need to rape anyone, because he can get any girl he wants.”

  My tears were just flowing down my cheeks, no stopping them now, as I continued to listen to the girls talk about me. Blond girl’s friend did defend me which I was surprised by. “Brittany, you do know the crime Michael is being charged with is pretty serious? What girl would want to put herself through that humiliation to fabricate a bogus story?”

  “You need to wake up, Kara. Nicolette Vanelle is a desperate and attention seeking whore. How she ever caught the attention of Simon Paulson is beyond me”. Oh my god, oh my god. They actually know my name and believe that I am lying about being raped by Michael. I covered my mouth to silence my cries.

  “You want to repeat that bitch,” shouted Alexis at the blond cheerleader. I heard the door crash open and my friend defend me.

  “What the hell is your problem Alexis?”

  “I’ll tell you what my sister’s problem is, Bailey shouted at Brittany. You have a big mouth and you don’t know what the hell you are talking about.”

  “The girl you are trashing is our best friend and if we ever hear you say her name again, I will personally rip out every hair extension that is glued to your fucking head.” Alexis now pushing Brittany up against the wall.

  “Get your hands off of me, Alexis. I’ll report you to Principal Davies for assault.”

  “Do it bitch, and I promise you that you will never be able to cheer again.”

  “Oh why is that, Bailey?”

  “You won’t be able to cheer again and speak for that matter, because I will rip out your disrespectful tongue.”

  “Ok that’s enough, please let’s all calm down. Kara pleaded with the girls to stop. I’m sorry Alexis and you too Bailey. Brittany doesn’t know when to shut her mouth. I don’t personally know your friend, but I hope she’ll be ok. I believe your friend and I will pray for her.”

  “Kara, you really are dumb.” Brittany mocked her friend.

  “No Brittany, you are and I feel sorry for you because you are weak and pathetic.” Kara brushed by her friend and walked out of the bathroom. Brittany
picked her gym bag up and shot dirty looks to my friends. I couldn’t hold back the vomit that was churning in my stomach any longer, and got violently sick after she walked out.

  I heard Bailey knock on the door asking me if I was ok, not knowing it was me behind the door. I slowly unlocked it to face my friends. Alexis was in tears after seeing it was me behind the door. I went to the sink and washed my face. “Oh my god Nicolette, we didn’t know you were even in here.” Bailey said to me. I thanked my friends for defending me. They both hugged me, and vowed they wouldn’t let anyone hurt me. I wanted to believe my friends, but I knew eventually everyone would know about me.

  Bailey texted Simon telling him what happened, and I walked out the door to see him leaning up against the wall. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and said, “Let’s get out of here.”

  I replied. “You read my mind.”

  I didn’t tell Simon that my stomach was hurting me. Not only from throwing up, but it felt like a sharp pain was shooting down my side. I was hoping it would subside after taking some ibuprofen.

  After saying goodbye to the girls, Simon took me to the juice bar to get some lunch. While he went to place our order, Seth had seen me and approached our table. I couldn’t take much more today, and I didn’t want Simon to get into it with him.

  “Hey Nicolette, how are you doing?”

  “Hi Seth, I’m doing better, thank you for asking.”