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  “Babe, I was almost named after a freaking spice, probably because my mom loves to cook.”

  “Oh, yeah, what was it going to be before your mom changed it to Devan?”

  “My name would have been Sage, but my dad told me that when she was filling out the birth certificate, she called out Devan.”

  “Did she ever give you a reason?”

  “You’re going to laugh,” I warned.

  “I won’t. Tell me.”

  “Okay, if I remember the story correctly, I was named after an actor on one of her soap operas.”

  She immediately smiled and snuggled closer to my side. I knew Carrie would love it. “Your name is the bomb. How many Devan’s do you know?”

  “Only me.”

  “You see? A standout in the crowd.”

  “Okay, so what’s our son’s name?”

  “Paxton Devan Knight. Do you like it?”

  I had to wipe away my tears as I knew what it meant to Carrie to not only give a part of Paisley to our son, but also give him my name. We talked and agreed on all the legal issues before undergoing the decision to have this baby, but hearing that my son would carry my name meant the world to me.

  “I love it. Thank you.”

  “No, Devan, thank you.”

  I gripped the sides of my desk with such a force, I thought I was going to snap a piece off it.

  “Fuck my life! Damn, I miss you, Carrie. Why did you leave us?” I questioned as I held her photo to my chest. It was the one I had framed, with us holding our newborn son in the hospital. It was right before the world I knew that was so full of life and love and full of promise changed when fate stepped in and took her from me. Took her from our son. It was rare for me to fall apart and get this upset over matters that I never had control over to begin with.

  “Pull yourself together, man,” I said aloud.

  Then I took a shower to clear my head. By the time I stepped out and got dressed, I looked at the clock. It was almost time to leave to pick up Paxton. I hoped he had a better day than I did.

  I pulled up to the building and noticed all the boys playing some ball on the outside courts while the coaches encouraged them on. Paxton looked happy and in his element playing ball with his friends. I walked over to where the coaches and a few other parents began to gather. I said hello to Joey’s mom and dad, and then Sebastian’s folks joined us too.

  “Hey, Devan! The boys look great out there, don’t they?”

  “Hey, Lily, they sure do. I’m glad Sebastian is here with Paxton.”

  “So are we. Sleepaway camp was not in the cards for us this year, and he’s still too young for that.”

  “I feel the same way. Pax is too young, even though he thinks he’s all grown up because he turns ten next month.”

  “Don’t I know it?” she laughed. “So, what do you think of the big guy over there?” she winked.

  “I don’t think anything, Lily. I just met him.”

  “Bullshit! He’s hot, Devan, and I heard from Miles, the other coach, that he’s not with anyone. Go try your luck with him. Maybe he’ll bench press you.”

  “Go away! Why are we friends again?” I was kidding.

  I’d been lucky enough to make good friends through Paxton’s connections. I’d always been accepted although they had never seen me with anyone. I was out and living my life proudly. I never had to hide my sexuality, and when it came to explaining it to Paxton, he seemed pretty bored with the conversation that we had about it.

  “Come on, Devan. It will do you some good to get out and live a little. I have no plans for this weekend. The boys can have a sleepover, and you can have one too!”

  “Thank you, but I’m a little old for sleepovers, and I don’t do the one-night stands anymore. That was another life ago, so let’s stop matchmaking, okay?”

  “Sure, no problem, but if you change your mind...”

  “I won’t.”

  I gave her a quick hug, and then with the sound of the whistle, day one of basketball camp was over.

  “Daddy! Did you see me out there? I made a basket after I faked out the coach.”

  “I did. You were awesome. Why don’t you run inside and grab your gear, and then we can be on our way.”

  “Can I stay a little longer?”

  “No, there’s a shower at home with your name on it.”

  “Oh man!” he said but listened and ran over to his friends to get his bag.

  “He did great today,” a familiar voice said behind me.

  I turned around and, sure enough, it was the handsome stranger. I mean, it was Jake.

  I responded, “It seems that way. How are you holding up? Playing basketball all day in the hot sun has to be tiring.”

  “Nah, we weren’t out here the whole time. I like to do drills at the end of the day, and the kids seemed okay with it.”

  “Well, thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I quickly turned to avoid anymore eye contact with him. Damn, it felt like he was undressing me with his eyes. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough when he called out to me once more.

  “Hey, I’m new to town and hungry too. Know of any good pizza places around here?”

  “Yeah, Mario’s. It’s one block over from the smoothie shop.”

  “Cool. Do you want to join me? I’m sure Paxton has worked up an appetite.”

  I stood there dumbfounded for a moment and then heard my father’s voice in my head. My dad was always my sounding board whether I wanted to talk or not. The greatest part of our relationship was that he always said the words I needed to hear at the time, even though I never took the advice. I was too stubborn for my own good, but there was something about this guy that made me want to say fuck it and do something uncharacteristic, like accept an invitation for pizza.

  “Yeah, Jake, pizza sounds good. I’ll meet you there.”

  His eyes brightened with sparkle. Maybe he thought I would say no.

  Yeah, my actions surprised me too.

  He said yes! I didn’t think he would when he clearly hesitated after I invited him, but I may have heard his stomach growl a bit at the mention of pizza, and then I knew I had him. I don’t care how I managed it. All I know is that I am going to be dining with the very sexy Devan Knight, and at this moment, my mind is not thinking of the case and the circumstances surrounding it. I just have this deep need to get closer to the man. It has been a draw since the moment I laid eyes on his picture.

  His boy was amazing. He had the love for the game and a true heart of a team player. He listened to instruction, helped out his fellow teammates with some maneuvers they weren’t quite understanding, and when he missed a few shots of his own, he handled it with poise and didn’t throw a tantrum. Two of my other boys got a time-out today because they didn’t show good sportsmanship.

  We took two separate cars to the pizza shop and parked beside each other. I was gearing up to say something witty when my cell buzzed in my pocket. Fuck! It’s the Harpers. I just got here, for crying out loud, and didn’t I say that I would be the one in touch? I told Devan and Paxton to go on inside, and I would meet them in a few minutes.

  “Mercer,” I answered.

  “Hi, it’s Ruth Harper calling.”

  “Yes, what can I do for you?”

  “I’m sorry to bother you, Mr. Mercer. I was just hoping for some updates. Have you located my grandson yet?”

  “I have not.” I lied. “My investigation is underway, and as soon as I know something, I will be in touch with you.”

  “Please, Mr. Mercer, you must find him.”

  “Is there something you’re not telling me? You seem a bit shaken.”

  “I’m alright, just worried,” she said.

  “I’ll be in touch as soon as I am able to.”

  “Okay, thank you.”

  I didn’t have time to analyze the tone of her voice, but it didn’t sit well with me. She first came off as a quiet, subdued wife, and then she took charge and put her husband i
n place, only to go timid with me again. What gives?

  I disconnected my call and realized I’d been talking to her for ten minutes and how rude that was of me. Here I was, trying to make some headway with the guy, and I blew him off for a phone call. She did sound different, and it was gnawing at me. I quickly placed a call to my Portland contact and placed him on the Harpers. Not only did I need to find out more about Devan, but I needed more information on the family he kept his son hidden from all these years.

  I finally walked into the restaurant, and Paxton called me over once he spotted me. He was in an animated conversation with his father when I approached the table.

  “I’m so sorry. I would have never taken a phone call if it wasn’t necessary. Please forgive my rudeness,” I sincerely implored Devan, and when I looked into his deep brown eyes, I saw understanding.

  “It’s no problem. It happens. I hope you like pepperoni on your pizza. Paxton was hungry, and I placed an order for all of us.”

  “Totally fine. Last time I checked, I was quite the carnivore. You know I love my meat.”

  WTF! What is it with my loose tongue? I can’t seem to control myself around this guy. As the words passed over my lips, my dick hardened underneath my zipper. Thank god I changed out of my basketball shorts, or I would have been Captain Obvious over here.

  He laughed at my joke and then said, “I’ll have to take your word for it since I don’t know you very well.”

  Yeah, that’s going to change quickly if I have anything to say about it.

  Once the pizza arrived, we all grabbed a slice and began eating. We enjoyed the light conversation between us, mostly talking about today and all that happened at camp. Once Paxton was done eating, he asked his father if he could go play the pinball machine in the corner of the restaurant.

  “Okay, stay in sight where I can see you,” Devan said.

  “Yes, Daddy, I will.”

  “That’s what I want to hear. Have fun,” I told Paxton.

  “Sorry about that. My attention span is short when my son is with me,” Devan said.

  “Don’t apologize,” I said. “I get it. Kids come first. You’re really good with him.”

  “Thank you. I try very hard to be.”

  “So, if you don’t mind me getting too personal here, where’s his mother? Is she still in the picture?” The more I sat here with him, my need to get to know him increased. I was breaking all my rules with this guy, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t give a fuck.

  “Um, it’s a long story, one that I don’t care to share.”

  “Wow! Pretty direct. I didn’t mean to overstep.” Yes, I did. I lied.

  “Look, I hardly know you, and I am not in the habit of sharing my feelings with strangers, so not to be rude, but that’s the way it has to be.”

  “I’m sorry, Devan, but I’m hardly a stranger. I’m your son’s basketball coach. He was in my care all day today, so I’m not sure if ‘stranger’ is the appropriate word for me.”

  “Okay, you have me there. How about new acquaintance? Is that better?”

  “It’s a start, but we could always work our way to friendship…maybe something more?”

  His eyes widened. “Come on, Devan, you must know how attractive you are?”

  “Actually, I don’t. It’s been so long since I’ve received a compliment that I don’t even recognize it when I hear one, but thank you.”

  “No, thank you. I’ve really enjoyed your company tonight. Maybe the next time we get together, it can be just you and me?”

  “I’m not sure, Jake. I don’t do this.”

  “Don’t do what?”

  “This.” He gestured with his hands. “I don’t date, not ever.”

  “How about you start with me? Let’s say Saturday night? I know of a club we can go to, or if dancing is not your thing, maybe dinner and a movie? Come on, we’re in Boise, happening place. I’m sure we can figure something to do,” I said jokingly, but deep down I was never more serious in all my life.

  He laughed, and his smile was mind-numbing.

  “Come on, Devan, I can see that you want to. I swear, one date, I’ll be the perfect gentleman, and if I repulse you by the end of the evening, no hard feelings, okay?”

  I knew I was breaking him down; I had to be. Just when I thought I had him, he fucking stunned me by shutting me down.

  “Sorry, Jake, but I think we should keep things the way they are.”

  “And? What’s that?” I asked and then decided to be bold and caress his hand with mine. “You feel that, don’t you? Come on, Devan. I can’t be alone in this?”

  “I have to go.” He pulled back his hand and got up to stand. He called over to where his son was, “Paxton, come on, son.”

  “Devan, don’t go. If I said anything out of line, I’m sorry.” I was so flustered with his sudden departure, I was almost stuttering. This was new. This guy had me completely off my game.

  “It’s fine. I have to go,” he said to me. “Paxton, did you hear me? Let’s go,” he called out with now an agitated tone to his voice.

  “One more game, please, Daddy.”

  “No, it’s late. Say goodnight to Mr. Mercer.”

  He sulked but was polite all the same. “Goodnight, coach. See you tomorrow.”

  “Sure thing, Paxton. Have a good night.”

  He placed his hand on his son’s shoulder and led him out of the restaurant without another glance toward me. Fuck! This was not how it played out in my head. I really thought I was breaking down a wall or two. Sure, he didn’t tell me much, but the conversation we did have was light with an easy flow between us. I dropped some bills down on the table and then went back to my house to ice my blue balls, the ones that Devan Knight was responsible for.

  After my not-so-satisfying shower, I called Marcy to make sure my office was still intact, and then Jonah checked in from Portland.

  “Yeah, boss, something is definitely up with Mr. Harper. Did you know that he was a youth minister back in New York?”

  “I’m still going over the file. What else do we know?” I asked.

  “Looks like he got into some trouble with a girl from one of the halfway homes he counseled at. She was a runaway with no family, hooked on meth. It was her word against his, with him winning in the end. I have some secured documents here that cost us some green to get a hold of, but it was worth it in the end. Looks like it was a sexual misdemeanor charge, but the case was thrown out, and other than the girl’s statement, she tested positive for opiates amongst other shit in her system and could not be counted on as a viable defendant. His record was clean with no priors, and with no physical evidence to challenge, the case was dismissed.”

  “What happened to the girl?” I questioned.

  “She got sent to rehab, and then when she turned eighteen, she was released from the system, never to be heard from again.”

  “Jonah, either she’s dead or rehabilitated and living her life out there. No matter what the outcome is, I need to know.”

  “I’m already on it, but it’s going to take me a few days, maybe longer.”

  “Do what you have to do, and I don’t give a shit how much it costs us. I knew something was off with this guy, and now we have a lead. You work your end. I have to call Mike.”

  “Will do, boss. I’ll be in touch.”

  I called Mike, not caring of the time. He answered groggily in his half-asleep voice, “Come on, Mercer. Seriously?”

  “Yes, I’m fucking serious. I need you on a plane to Staten Island. I need all the intel on a Paisley Paxton and Carrie Harper. Paisley was a transplant from Boise, Idaho, and six months before she graduated high school, she relocated to New York and began a relationship with Carrie Harper. I have the present information, what I need is the past. Get me everything you can on each of the women, and then start a file on Tobias Harper. Most of his professional life was connected to St. Augustine’s. He was a minister, youth counselor, and possible child molester. I need to kn
ow of any infractions that he may have been involved in, and then I need you to delve deeper into Carrie’s past. She left home at eighteen, and the story goes it’s because she was gay and in a relationship with another girl. But maybe that was just the cover story for what was really going on in that house? Maybe dear old dad got a little too chummy with his daughter, and she ran because of it?”

  “Shit, Jake, that’s a hell of a lot of information. You sure you’re still breathing after that one? I swear you didn’t take a breath the whole time we’ve been on the phone.”

  “Mike, don’t worry about me. Just get your ass to New York, and report back to me when you can.”

  “Yeah, I’ll call the agent now.”

  “See that you do. Keep in touch.” I hung up with Mike and almost threw my phone across the room.

  “Motherfucker!” I shouted. “God help you, Harper, if I find out what I suspect you did to your little girl. There’s no fucking way I will ever allow you to touch one hair on Paxton’s head!”

  Now I’m in this more than ever, and I will protect them both. I just can’t let them know it just yet. I first have to earn Devan’s trust, and then when that happens, then I’ll know how to proceed.

  Once I got home from my disastrous night with Jake, I read Paxton three stories and put him to bed. I had never seen him so hyped up before, but when he finally settled down, he was out for the night.

  I wasn’t so lucky. My mind was racing a mile a minute with thoughts of Jake and all his forwardness tonight. I was trying very hard to keep it casual between us, but the guy would not let up with his questions, and that right there made me nervous. Or is that how it is now? I’ve been out of the game for a while, and if I can’t tell when a guy is complimenting me, then how the hell do I read the signals that he’s actually interested?

  I decided not to torture myself any longer and ran a few miles on my treadmill until all my aggression was out of my system. This can’t happen between us. He’s Paxton’s basketball coach, and his job here is temporary. I had already resigned myself to that fact, but then I shared a meal with him tonight and three hours of conversation, ending with me being an ass and walking out on him. What. The. Hell? What would Carrie say if she could see me now? Probably smack me upside my head for being an idiot.