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  “Mom, I pray I didn’t give you the impression that I don’t want you to move on, because you are not the one who died on that day. You are so great, and if you have someone in your life that you can travel with and have fun with, then I will not stand in your way.”

  “I appreciate that, Nick, more than you know, but I wasn’t talking about me. You were always the one that had a goal, or ten, for that matter. You went after what you wanted, and you got it with hard work and determination. I truly believe you are chief of daddy’s firehouse because you were just meant to follow in his footsteps. When you were little, he hoped you would want to become a firefighter. Who doesn’t want their little boys to grow up and be strong like their brave daddies?”

  “I always wanted to be like him. He was my hero and was not only my dad, but my best friend. He taught me so much about life, honor, and courage. Deciding to become like him was never in question for me.”

  “May I ask you something?” she asked.

  “You know you can.”

  “Why didn’t you ever share your dreams with Thea? She claimed she never knew your intentions on going into the fire academy. Yes, you were a junior firefighter and spent most of your childhood down at Ladder 4, but your father was the chief and Thea’s father was his second-in-command. That place was exciting, and it was also where you two figured out you had more than friendship between you. But I believe I finally figured it out what you two may not have had: trust. All the good you had with each other, and you didn’t have trust. And I am not talking about either one of you fancying someone else, I mean faith in each other to really talk and share your feelings.”

  “Mom, that’s not true. I told Thea everything, and she did the same with me. How could she not know I wanted to become a firefighter? It’s fucking absurd.”

  “No, it’s not. Let me ask you this: did you know about her job offer in Los Angeles?”

  “There was never an offer for LA. It was for here in New York.”

  “No, she didn’t get that position, but she was offered something better that was in LA, and according to Frannie, on the night of the graduation party, she was going to share that news with you, but your announcement trumped hers. So again I ask you: did you have enough trust in your relationship to share your innermost feelings with her? Your dreams? Because from where I am sitting, you two may have been together but were miles apart in between.”

  “I won’t believe that mom, not Thea. She would never just accept a job three-thousand miles away from our home and family without talking to me first about it.”

  “Why is that so hard to believe? Nick, you applied and were accepted to the fire academy without talking to her first. You announced your plans to the entire neighborhood without ever giving Thea a minute to even consider how she felt about it. I am sorry that Thea leaving broke your heart, but after all of these years, I am not so convinced that you did not play a part in her decision. Listen, I don’t want to spend my last day and night over here playing relationship counselor. I want to enjoy the day with my son. I am sorry if I overstepped and upset you.”

  “You didn’t, and even if you did, I would never hold it against you. I have to go. Shift is about to start, and I’m already late. Enjoy yourself today, and I will see you tonight at Rocco’s for dinner.”

  Although I appeared calm to my mom, I was losing my mind on the inside. Was she right about me and Thea? Only one way to find out. I needed to go to the source and find out for myself once and for all if what my mom suspected was true.

  Up until that conversation, I never believed I really played a part in our break-up. I had blamed Thea for more years than I cared to re-visit for leaving me, for not fighting harder for us to stay together. After she left, I was hurt but really had no time to lose myself in self-pity when I was about to enter the fire academy, which demanded my total attention.

  By the time I parked my truck, I looked at my watch and had only minutes left to make the morning roll call. I bristled by some of the guys, who all greeted me with the usual “Good morning, Chief.” I nodded and made my way to my office. Leslie followed with my coffee in hand. I usually did not depend on her for fetching coffee, but she was awesome at her job and could read me very well to know that today was an exception.

  “Good morning, sir. You look tired, are you tired? Should I have Lt. Fiore pass out today’s assignments for you?”

  “No, that will not be necessary. Please give me ten minutes to get organized, and then I will meet the guys in the apparatus room.”

  “Will do, sir.”

  Leslie made her exit, and I let out the breath I was holding. Fuck! This day was going to suck, and it hadn’t even started yet. I put my fisted hands to my eyes and rubbed them hard.

  “Hey, boss, may I come in?”

  It was Tony knocking on my door. So much for the ten minutes I desperately needed to take for myself.

  “Come in,” I called out while finishing up my coffee.

  “Good morning. You okay?” he asked.

  “Of course I am. Why do you ask?”

  “No reason, just being a friend.”

  “If it’s all the same to you, I would rather you be my Lieutenant and hold down the fort while I take care of a few things. I will do the roll call, and then I need to leave.”

  “Of course, I have it handled.”

  Fuck! It wasn’t Tony’s fault for my foul mood, and he probably didn’t deserve it yesterday at the party.

  “Tony, wait!” I called out.

  “What’s up?”

  “Come in and close the door, please,” I said as I gestured for him to take a seat, but he chose to stand instead.

  “Listen, about yesterday, I feel I need to explain a few things to you.”

  “Forget about it, Chief.”

  Usually I had such an easy-going relationship with Tony, but ever since Thea arrived back in town, I had been a crazy man and my bark had been worse than my bite.

  “Tony, this is me taking off the ‘chief’ hat and trying to apologize to my friend. It’s already been a trying morning, so stop being a dickhead and allow me to apologize already.”

  “I’m sorry too, and it’s already forgotten. I’m sorry if I came on too strong with you about Thea. I was out of line, and you never cross the line with friends or your boss.”

  “Well, thank you, Tony, but it was my fault. Now, back to the task at hand. I shouldn’t be gone more than a few hours, but I will also confer with Spinelli and make sure all the bases are covered.”

  We met the team together, and Tony stood by me as I did roll call and motivated the guys.

  “Okay, team, listen up. This house answered 21 calls yesterday. Our average is 16, but days that surround the anniversary of 9/11, we always see a rise. Now it’s Monday, and we begin again. You all have your assignments, and I expect all tasks completed by end of shift. Go to work and remember what this house stands for.”

  My guys all joined in and quoted perfectly our mission statement: “ALWAYS HERE, ALWAYS READY, SERVING YOU WITH PRIDE AND EXCELLENCE!”

  “Dismissed.”

  My guys followed out, and I went back to my office to type out some e-mails and confer with Leslie.

  “Okay, Chief, I believe we have covered everything. Do you need me to do anything else?” Leslie asked.

  “No, we are all good here. If you can, please just keep eyes on Tony and the rest of the crew until I return. I shouldn’t be too long.”

  “Sir, forgive me for my observance, but this is not your norm to cut out in the middle of a shift. Am I correct on this?”

  “Correct. This most certainly is not how I do normal, but something has come up that also needs my attention, and I know I am leaving the house in very capable hands. I’ll stay in touch with my cell on.”

  I left as fast as I arrived, and now it was time to find Thea.

  “I am so happy you called! I heard you were back in town, and I was waiting patiently by the phone,” Trudie said as she wrapped her
arms around me.

  I missed the great hugs she gave whenever we got together.

  I said, “I have missed you, and I know I am not the greatest communicator, but I am trying to be better. Forgive me?”

  “You never have to ask! Now shut up, and let me give you another hug.”

  Bryant Park was always our favorite spot to grab a coffee and talk for hours. Trudie just made it easy, with no tacking on layers of guilt like mom did. After we finished our lunch, we decided to just walk and talk.

  “So Thea, how long are we going to walk this park before my feet give out on me? You do know I am wearing Jimmy Choo’s.”

  “Okay, we can take a time-out. Let’s grab that bench over there.”

  “So, spill it, girl! I cancelled all my afternoon meetings for this talk, so get on with it.”

  “Okay, bossy, do you ever just take a minute to chill?”

  “Are you for real? Thea, you are the workaholic in the relationship. I at least have the kids with their fifty extracurricular activities, and let’s not forget the animal kingdom I am raising…two dogs, two cats, one hamster, one guinea pig, and last week we finally said goodbye to the smelly hermit crabs. Gee, I love my life.”

  “Shut up, bitch! It sounds fabulous.”

  “Okay, it does, but that doesn’t mean it’s not tiring. Now, please talk to me.”

  “So, I saw Nick,” I said.

  “And?”

  “It wasn’t pretty.”

  “Oy vey! I think we need wine. Let’s go find a bar.”

  “Trudie, it wasn’t that bad, but I wouldn’t mind a drink right now.”

  “You got it, girlfriend. Let’s go to our old stomping grounds.”

  “Um…no. That would be a big Hell No! It would be just my luck to run into friends from the block, and worse yet, Karen.”

  “You know, she’s not that bad anymore. She’s been through a lot over the last five years. Thea, she could use a friend or two, and I am one and you are one.”

  “Gee, Tru, I can add. Fine, so what’s her deal?”

  “Man, you have been gone for a while. Didn’t your mother tell you how Karen finally settled down with Alex Mancini? They got married, punched out a couple of kids, and then when she was ready to buy her hair salon, he took the money and ran for the hills. She hasn’t heard from him since.”

  “Oh shit! No, I did not know any of that. Mom tried coaxing me at the luncheon to talk with her, but she was engaged in conversation, so I didn’t bother.”

  “Well, you should have,” she said.

  “Okay, I get it. The next time I see her, I will talk with her.”

  “Good, because now is your chance,” Trudie said as she opened the door to Delfino’s. “She works at this bar.”

  “What? You bitch! You fucking set me up, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah, I kind of did, but you need to work out whatever beef you have with Karen and let it go already. She’s one of us, and she needs friends.”

  I argued, “She went after Nick and told everyone she slept with him.”

  “Yeah, and you left him for her taking. So if that were true, then why do you care?”

  “Trudie, seeing you today was supposed to be a happy occasion, and now I am seriously regretting ever calling you.”

  “Yeah right, and I don’t dye my hair every six weeks. Who the hell are you trying to convince, Thea? Me or you? Once upon a time, we were all friends, some of us still are. You need people in your life. So while you are back home, please try to remember all the fun we used to have with each other and how we stuck together through not only the good times but the bad too.”

  “I will try, and by the way, the bar tab is on you.”

  “After you, Thea.”

  Of course she didn’t make it easy, not Karen Lombardi.

  She called out, “Well, well, well, look at what the wind blew in. How did we earn a visit from the LA princess? What brings you back here…slumming for a news piece?”

  Gritting my teeth with a forced smile that would win me an Oscar, I ignored her sarcasm and said hello.

  “Hi, Karen, it’s nice to see you too. And you know why I am in town.”

  “Yeah, I know. It would have been nice to say hello to you yesterday, but as usual, the princess ignored us lowly people she tried all these years to forget.”

  “Look, I didn’t come in here to go round and round with you. You’re a bartender, right? Fix us a drink, and then we won’t bother you.”

  “Chill out, princess. A girl’s got to eat, and I plan on getting a big tip from you. I know you have it, so what will it be?”

  “I will have a Vodka Tonic, and Trudie will have a glass of Cabernet.”

  “Coming right up.”

  I looked back over to Trudie, who was trying to hide behind the menu she was holding.

  “Gee, thanks a lot for that, Tru. You actually made me feel sorry for her. She hasn’t changed. If anything, she is more of a bitch than she was back in school.”

  “She’s gotten better, believe me. Come on, T, kick up your shoes and relax for a New York minute. Damn, you are stressed. So, where were we with Nick? Tell me what happened after you saw him.”

  “I can answer that for you. Um…nothing,” Karen stated as she placed our drinks down.

  “I would like to hear it from Thea, if you don’t mind.”

  Karen said, “I do mind, because for the life of me I will never understand how these two stayed together for as long as they did. And I don’t need a reminder of the grieving 9/11 kid club. I lost a father on that day too, and it still motherfucking hurts me to my core, but I didn’t break my boyfriend’s heart to ease the pain over that loss. You fucking bulldozed over Nick Bartelli and kept on driving. You were gone, so do us all a favor and stay gone.”

  I downed my drink and then got my bitch on. If Karen was itching for a fight, well, she found one.

  “Hey, who the fuck do you think you are to lecture me on my relationship with Nick? What, are you jealous because he chose me over you? Get over it, Karen. The way I hear it, you had quite the selection to choose from, so why bust my chops over Nick?”

  “You want the truth, Thea? Okay, you are going to get it. You never deserved him. Nick is true and honest down to his heart. He has everything going for him and is damn respected in this neighborhood. We love him. He’s not only the chief of Ladder 4, but he does so much for our community and just makes us better. You contributed nothing after you left for school, and then you turned your nose down at all of us that stayed. We live and breathe this neighborhood and city. We remember what we lost and honor the friendships that have remained intact after a tragedy tried to tear us apart. You left, Thea. You left us all. And now you’re back? For what? To show us all what a great life you have now? Newsflash, bitch: we do not care.”

  “That’s enough Karen!” I heard from behind me.

  I knew that voice. It was the same one that had me by my throat last night when he kissed me and then I lost all ability to think when he whispered close to my ear. I didn’t dare turn around, especially with my tears threatening to fall.

  He continued, “What are you doing, Karen? We talked about this on more than one occasion. I thought you going off on customers was a thing of the past, is it not? You promised me. I will no longer accept this rage you seem to unleash when working my bar. You need to get it under control, do you hear me? You have kids to think about, and the next time you break a beer bottle over a customer’s head, I won’t be able to bail you out. I called in my last favor for you.”

  “I’m sorry, Nick. I lost my head for a minute there. It won’t happen again, okay?”

  “See that it doesn’t.”

  He looked around the bar and saw some customers hanging on to his every word. He called out to Mike, the other bartender to come over to where we were seated.

  “What up, Chief?”

  “Hey, can you cover the bar on your own for about ten minutes? Karen is going to take a break.”


  “Sure, no problem. I got your back, Karen.”

  She looked back over to him and smiled. Wow, I didn’t even know she had teeth! Smiling was not something she did normally. What was it with Nick? He swooped in to the rescue, and she went from a raging lioness to a purring kitten?

  Nick came over to us and said, “Hi, Trudie, how you doing? Damn, you look good. Get over here and give me a hug.”

  “Always the charmer, Bartelli. It’s good to see you too. Sorry I missed the luncheon. You know I’m a soccer mom on the weekends with all the tournaments my boys drag me too. Wally may go freaking pro if he keeps up his game.”

  “That would be amazing. I have to catch one of his games sometime.”

  “Well, I’d like to catch up, but I have a meeting to get to. Great seeing you, Nick.”

  I interrupted, “I thought you said you cancelled your afternoon?”

  “Did I? You must be hearing things. Love ya, T! Call me!”

  And just like that, my traitorous friend was gone. Other than Karen blowing up on me, I didn’t see Trudie setting me up like this. Or maybe I could chalk it up to “it’s a small neighborhood, and you are bound to run into someone from your past.” I guess I would start with Nick, who hadn’t taken his eyes off me.

  “Hi again, come here often?” I nervously asked.

  “As a matter of fact, I do. I own this bar.”

  “Get the hell out of town! You, a bar owner?”

  “Why is that so hard to believe? Lots of us have side businesses. This was a good opportunity, and I took advantage at the excellent price.”

  “Well, it’s beautiful.”

  I finally took a minute to look around the place. It had Nick’s personal flair all over it. I could tell it had been renovated with some modern touches. The bar was crowded for a Monday afternoon, so it looked like he did good business.

  “Hey, I know what you are thinking, and you would be wrong on all counts,” he said.

  “Really? And what would I be wrong on? The fact that my best friend coincidentally brought me to this bar that my former boyfriend now owns, although I don’t think she planned on Karen ripping me a new asshole. That part was just for effect.”